A Transformation...

The transformation is complete.

I knew I was about to be transformed, but I thought it would happen with intention and awareness. 

It didn’t.

Ever since I found out I would be a grandma, I knew my heart was turning to mush. 

I anticipated the feelings of overwhelming love.

I thought the transformation would happen when I held my grandchild.

It didn’t take that long…

I sat at outdoor church with my friend, her baby, and three-year-old.

I held the baby and watched her daughter play. 

Her daughter found a pile of that soft, cool dirt that feels so nice on your feet. 

She’d taken her shoes off and was running her toes through that wonderful dirt.

I encouraged her, “Is it soft? Doesn’t dirt feel good on your feet?”

Her mother wasn’t happy.

I was a little surprised when her parents whisked her away to clean her feet and hands. 

I wasn’t surprised they’d do that, but it didn’t occur to me in the moment.

Then she was back in the dirt again, and I smiled, then caught myself. 

What am I doing?

They just cleaned her up!

It was at that moment, I realized. 

The transformation is complete. 

There is nothing a little one can do that isn’t adorable. 

They’re precious - especially when they’re covered in dirt when they shouldn’t be.

I didn’t mind.

I’m not mom. 

It was a little taste of grandma-life—a spectacular freedom—undeterred by time or decorum or rules imposed by parentals.

The house my kids grew up in, fraught with rules and schedules, and “no,” is now grandma’s house. 

The land of “Yes.”